Cast Your Cares on the LORD

Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you;he will never let the righteous be shaken. Psalm 55:22

“Cast”: is that like a fisherman throwing his net? To catch fish. To catch encouragement, strength and hope. It seems like a good image for grieving people. Throw out your line to catch some encouragement. Sometimes you know where to throw out your line because you know the fish have been biting there. Sometimes you do not have that much knowledge but you throw it out into the water, hoping, because you are so needy. Fish with either a line – with a specific question that you want to discuss with God or a friend or another bereaved parent. Or fish with a net – seeking the first bit of comfort that meets your eyes, ears or heart.

In grief, you know some specific places where you can get encouragement, good information or a good swift kick. (There’s a time and place for a good challenge to move forward too.) You can go to church, call a good friend who knows you and knows grief, read certain specific books or websites for insight. You can listen to certain music, read and ponder certain passages of scripture. You can pray, with open hands and open heart, ready to receive the Lord’s word to apply today in your present stage of grief.

Sometimes in grief, though, you’re so desperate and can’t connect with known specific sources at the moment, so casting a wide net is what you need to do. In addition to sources listed above, I’ve also found encouragement from a walk in the woods, from a sunset, from some snippet of a conversation on the radio. It may have had nothing to do with grief, but it led to a thought that led to another idea that gave great encouragement.

Ask the Lord for awareness and openness so that He can speak to you, He will lead your thoughts. Note that the New Testament version of this idea, below, mentions that it’s important that we humble ourselves before the Lord. Asking is a humble position. Ask Him for insight and encouragement, then stay tuned for the “catch of the day.” Ask Him for encouragement as needed each day.

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. I Peter 5:6-7

Love Never Dies

We all knew when we became parents that parenthood came with few instructions and lots of dangers amid the many joys and pleasures of the job. You bereaved parents have met the worst of those dangers, not voluntarily and still without instructions. Here are some of the land mines that are on the road through the valley of death’s shadow:

• How many children do I have?   
• How can I be loyal to his/her memory and still invest in life going forward?
• Love remains, but what do I do with this love since they are not here?
• My mate isn’t meeting my needs as I had expected.
•  And more questions.  

I want to deal with others of these questions in later writings. (Am I becoming like the tv programs that try to entice you to come back another time by dangling such morsels for you, just before they sign off?) Today, let’s talk about what to do with the love that remains for the child.

You loved that child, no matter how many days you were given to watch him grow and to grow with him. Most of you would have given up anything – including your own life – to give him a better chance at survival and life. You wanted the best of everything for your child. That’s what love is: wanting the best and sacrificing to get closer to that goal for the one who is loved. Parents have said the love hasn’t died, just the one who is loved. Here are some choices I have witnessed parents make because they loved their child:

• changed careers to more reflect shared interests between parent and child.
• invested time and resources in a cause that the child believed in.
• established something in the child’s name – a building, a foundation, a scholarship, a garden
• added learning about grief to the experience of grief, to be a better comforter to other bereaved parents or people with other losses.
• took up a career in the medical field to help other children survive certain diseases.

I’ve had discussions with parents about how they tend and nurture the grave. It’s because they would be taking care of the child, so now they are taking care of one thing that represents that child – the grave. They may plant flowers. They may clip the grass with hand clippers or even scissors. They may take seasonal decorations and place them on the grave even though the cemetery “cleans” them up periodically. They may wash the stone! They may leave their own trinkets on the stone, as other visitors also do. One dad left pieces of hard candy on the stone, because he always has his pockets full for little children in his life. Next time he visits the grave, he notices how those candies have been traded for  trinkets left by others who quietly visited the child’s grave. These parents, universally, say they know the child is not there, just the body, but the grave is still some kind of tangible connection to him.

So, the love remains. This is one element of your grief for which you have choice over what you do. You can choose to spend the love constructively in your family and community. Or not. There is danger in not deliberately directing your love constructively. Undirected, the left over feelings, that used to be active love, could lead to some destructive behaviors – anger, substance abuse, break down, destruction of property. Please make decisions and choices towards positive things you want to have associated with your loved one. Let the love that remains be expressed in ways consistent with Paul’s description of love: 

“[Love] does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” I Corinthians 13:5-7

In a Snow Covered Landscape

Where I live, after a snowfall, it usually melts within a week. But not this year. We have had a weekly snowfall for at least 6 weeks and the ground has been covered all that time. It’s not normal for us.

The other day I was out driving about a half hour before sunset. The sky was grey and the ground was covered with a white blanket. In other words the whole universe was monochrome – grey/white. You could even say it lacked color at all! It was hard to determine where sky and snow-covered field met. Except for the naked tree line.

But in the boring, color-lacking landscape there was just a glimmer of light and color from the sun. It was near sunset and on the almost indiscernible horizon there was just the barest hint of pink and yellow. But in that colorlessness, this bare glimmer, this molecule of light was really present. It was strikingly beautiful because it was so unique in that landscape. This littlest bit of light and color actually made a big difference in my heart. It gave birth to hope. Hope that spring will come. Hope that possibly the sun is still out there above the clouds. Hope.

Grief can be like that. Life is not normal. The landscape is just one color – the color of pain and heartache. This feeling can go on for weeks and months. Bereaved parents tell me they can get quite tired of this feeling. The heaviness of it can get boring! It can be hard to distinguish any markers in the landscape of your grief that indicate progress. But just like those molecules of pink and yellow light, there are signs for you too. Signs that God is present and that He cares for you.

What signs have you noticed? Someone sent a card that said the right thing for that day. You saw a beautiful sunset yourself and felt the slightest delight in it. Your heard or read a story that gave a glimmer of hope to your heart. A bit of music or an old hymn that you’ve sung often, but hadn’t noticed the words that now are giving you a barest glimmer of hope. God is still present, though maybe masked by clouds. The Lord, true to His word, does care for you and your heart ache.  

If you haven’t noticed even one molecule of hope shining in the landscape of your grief, can you just believe that all the bereaved parents who have gone before you have found hope again. Can you hold on just because others can testify that the Lord sent His light into their pain? He is still present above the clouds. You may have a hard time seeing Him now. He will send you little glimmers of light one molecule at a time. I can say this because He has promised never to leave or forsake you.  

“Cast all your anxiety on him because He cares for you.” I Peter 5:7

“I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but have the light of life.” John 8:12

“For with you is the fountain of life; in your light we see light.” Psalm 36:9 (check the context here, Psalm 36:5-10 for more hope)

On Forgiving

…Which may be an idea you have to deal with in your grief -          In case of murder or other traumatic death.           In case of blaming anyone: doctor, driver, person who died…           Just in case forgiveness is an issue in your grief.

Here are some Scriptures to guide our thinking -

Jesus, in the prayer He taught us:  Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.  Matthew 6:12 (NIV)

Or: Forgive us our sins, as we also forgive everyone who sins against us. Luke 11:4 (New International Reader’s Version)

Jesus, from the Cross: Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."  Luke 23:34

Paul says, in some of his letters to the young church: Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.  Colossians 3:12-14

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.  Ephesians 4:31-3

Jesus taught forgiveness in principle. Then He demonstrated it by forgiving those who offended Him deeply, I mean those who nailed Him to the cross itself! Then Paul taught it. What reasons did Paul give us to persuade us to forgive?

• Because we’re dearly loved.
• Because we have been forgiven and so should forgive another.
• Because we should obey the Lord.  

Being in grief does not relieve you of your responsibility to obey this command. I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this. But the Lord who has commanded you and me also loves and strengthens us to do His will by His spirit who dwells within His children. He will enable you. And, finally, He is the One who also forgives you when you fall short of this high expectation. He will forgive and cleanse you of all your faults. Since you are forgiven so generously, you can forgive those who have offended you in the death of your child or in your grief since her or his death.

Forgiving others is more than just a command, something to do to please the Lord. There is also much in it that is good for you! You will be relieved of the burden of carrying that bitterness. You will be free of the difficult task of making sure that person knows what they’ve done. You will be released from the need to make the scales of justice balance. You will be free to begin creating your new normal. You will be blessed.

Forgiving others, even those who were involved in your child’s death in some way, is a command and it would be good for you. It’s not easy. It’s not a quick fix. It is a process and you can wait to enter that process until the Lord moves in your heart to make it the next priority in your grief journey. Ask Him: “What’s next?” If it is to begin forgiving, be patient with yourself and lean into Jesus for guidance and courage to do this. It will be freeing for you. May God bless you in this process.

Psalms for Despair

“My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, and am not silent.

“Yet you are enthroned as the Holy One; in you our fathers put their trust; they trusted and you delivered them. They cried to you and were saved; in you they trusted and were not disappointed.

“My heart has turned to wax; it has melted away within me.

“But you, O LORD, be not far off; O my Strength, come quickly to help me.  

“For he has not despised or disdained the suffering of the afflicted one; he has not hidden his face from him but has listened to his cry for help.

“For dominion belongs to the LORD and he rules over the nations." Psalm 22:1-5, 14b, 19-21, 24, 28

Have you felt this same degree of despair? Have you felt like your heart was melted like wax – just a puddle of emotion, not functioning? This psalmist says he has cried out to God for help but still feels completely overwhelmed. Yet he also knew the Lord was not far off. He reminds himself of God’s history with His people. God has been a faithful help, not disappointing them but rescuing those who despair.

I love the last 2 verses: that the Lord does not “dis” the pain – He doesn’t hate it nor diminish it. The psalmist makes note that God has not looked away nor pretended that this is not happening.  He is comforted as he reminds himself that God is in charge. Are you comforted to know that the God who loves you and gave up His son for your redemption, is in control of your present circumstances?   

Next the writer trusts the Lord so comfortably that he freely and without restraint shares with the Lord all the things that burden him. The same frame of mind is expressed in Psalm 55:

“Listen to my prayer, O God, do not ignore my plea: Hear me and answer me. My thoughts trouble me and I am distraught… My heart is in anguish within me; the terrors of death assail me. Fear and trembling have beset me; horror has overwhelmed me.

“Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.”        Psalm 55:2,4.5,22 

Then in the New Testament too: “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”   I Peter 5:6

Finally, below is Psalm 42. Are these words your words? In your pain, despair, depression and “overwhelmedness,” do you thirst for God? Or even for what He offers you – to deliver you, to give meaning to your loss, to make “good” come out of it? As you seek Him, He will do all those things and so much more. We pray the last 2 lines for you: when you are downcast, that you will remember the blessings He has already given you and the blessings He has given His people down through history. And that those memories will be a source of comfort to you now.  

“My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God  My tears have been my food day and night, while men say to me all day long, ‘Where is your God?’

“Why are you downcast, O my soul?  Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. "My soul is downcast within me; therefore I will remember you.”    Psalm 42:2-3,5-6

New Things in the New Year

His compassion is new every morning. That’s good. The Lord is offering us other new things that we can think about now, in this new year. “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees.” Ezekiel 36:26-27

New life: “…just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.”  Romans 6:5 

“For this reason Christ is the mediator of a new covenant, that those who are called may receive the promised eternal inheritance—now that he has died as a ransom to set them free from the sins committed under the first covenant.”  Hebrews 9: 15

A new home: “My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.”  John 14:2-3

Everything new: “‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.’ He who was seated on the throne said, ‘I am making everything new!’” Revelation 21:4-5

The Lord, your God, who loves you beyond all measure, promises you a new heart in exchange for your broken one, so that you can live a new life within a new covenant relationship with Him. And while you’re getting used to that new relationship with Him, He is preparing a new home for you in a new place where everything that hurts you now no longer exists. No Pain. Neither illness nor death. No more tears. None of this grief.

In this year, as it progresses think about it being movement toward that new life. Rather than taking you farther away from your child in this life, time is taking you closer to Jesus, and your child who is with Him and that new life in Christ.

New Year; New Pain; New Blessings

Have you heard the old saying – Today is the first day of the rest of your life? Today is the first day of a new year. Some bereaved parents have said that there is a little extra sorrow on the day you turn over the calendar. Somehow it seems as if you are a little farther away from your child because he or she didn’t live in this year. I’m sorry for that new layer of pain.

So I want to acknowledge that it’s a new year with a new little bit of pain. There will probably be other new griefs in your grief. But there are also new blessings available to you for each and every day all year.

“Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.” Lamentations 3:22-24

See that your job is to wait. This is not a passive or generalized waiting. It is waiting for Him and for His action and intervention in your grief, for your healing. Wait.

May you, in your waiting, know Him better and feel His blessings flow abundantly.

Blessings in this new year.

The First Christmas Parents

I re-read the Christmas passages in the Gospels of Matthew and Luke. Matthew focuses mostly on Joseph’s story. Luke focuses on Mary’s side of the story. But as I read, I’m struck with how each of them had to decide to accept God’s message and plan, no matter that it didn’t make sense. It does not make sense to any woman that they should become pregnant without knowing a man. It does not make sense for a man to believe that his pregnant fiancé has not known a man. It does not make sense especially in the culture of Israel in BC 1, for a man to take as his wife a pregnant young woman. There is such a great scandal in that. That woman could have been accused of fornication and stoned to death! What respectable man would take her as his wife!??! Well, angels told both Mary and Joseph that this pregnancy would happen and that it is “of God.” Each of them decided to accept this unlikely explanation as true. Each of them decided to live as if it were true. They mapped their decisions based on its truth.

Mary had much to ponder (Luke 2:19) after shepherds visited. She pondered all that she and Joseph had been told and how it actually happened, and what Elizabeth did and said, and what the shepherds told her. They told the story that angels told them: “a Savior has been born,” where to find him and how he’d be dressed. The angels told them Good News, Peace and Good Will. The angels gave unknown shepherds the same message she and Joseph had been told. Much to ponder.

There are parallels to all this in your life too. You have been told (it’s in the Bible) that God is good. That God is in control. That God loves you. And you know it’s true that your child died. You may be asking how can all these things be true at the same time. It does not make sense, like it didn’t make sense for Mary and Joseph. But, like them, you can decide to believe it and to act as if it’s true. Like Mary you may want to or need to ponder these things a while until the Lord gives you more insight. I’m not imagining that you’ll have a visiting angel but you do have His revealed message in the Bible about His relationship with you. You have His Holy Spirit sent after the resurrection to help give you insight.

Like the first Christmas parents, you have much to ponder. But like the first Christmas parents, I urge you to decide to accept that God is good and loves you. You can chose to live as if its true. But also, be patient with yourself until you can see how your child’s life and death will bring good will and peace.  He did it for the whole world, He can do it for you too.

Joy to the World - The Lord is come.

Yes indeed, this gives us reason to rejoice. He has come to make His blessings flow AS FAR AS The Curse is found!!

Joy to the world – No more let sins and sorrows grow, Nor thorns infest the ground; He comes to make His blessings flow Far as the curse is found.

Blessings will flow, are flowing, as far as the curse is found. That’s everywhere and all the time.

Just to be perfectly clear – I do NOT mean that God cursed you or your child for some specific sin either one committed. I do NOT mean that. I mean the God cursed the whole creation in general with thorns and sweat and labor and pain, because Adam sinned against God by disobeying His clear command to not touch that tree(Genesis 2:15-3:19; curse to the serpent in verse 14; to the woman in verse 16 and to the man in verse 17). So all of us now live in the world of trouble. Certainly death is one out-working of that curse.

Now, in the coming of Jesus, God’s full character is incarnated in this baby Son who is the One the Father has designated to bring reconciliation between the Creator and the creatures. The reconciler and savior has come into your broken experience to bring healing and hope. The curse will be covered with blessings. Joy to the cursed world because the Savior has come! Joy to you. Even in the midst of grief, may there be moments, little lightening bolts, of joy breaking through to comfort you.

Christmas Music

Christmas music. It’s everywhere, whether or not you want to hear it. It’s in those smaltzy holiday telephone advertisements on TV. It’s in every kind of retail environment. It’s on every radio station; if the station is not playing the music, the music is embedded in the advertising the station buys at this time of year. Music is one of the many triggers embedded within the holiday season that bring new waves of grief with them. All the memories and traditions that make the holiday season so important in each of our family histories are also triggers that may bring on a wave of grief. So many unavoidable triggers.

How can a grieving parent navigate this situation? One trick would be to not go shopping. Either order online or send a friend out with your list. Buy gift cards at the grocery check out. Tell the people to whom you would usually give a gift that you can’t do gift shopping this year. Align their expectations with your present reality.

If you can’t go shopping, is there something you’d like to make as gifts? Frame a photo of that person with your child. Bake pumpkin bread or your child’s favorite cookies . Maybe you have some sort of specialty you could make for everyone. Or write a letter that tells that other person how they were important to you or your child. That’s one way to avoid some of the musical triggers.

Another strategy is to face the music. Enter into it. Look carefully at some of the old Christmas hymns and carols. Many of them include one line or verse that talks about suffering or about heaven. That’s because people in the “olden” days faced death and trouble more frequently and more honestly  than we do these days. They were better acquainted with grief. It has been a fact forever that we all die sometime. But in years past, before antibiotics and other modern medicine, death came and the people didn’t have the illusion that everyone would get better and live a long life.

So they included hope in the face of death, routinely, in the music of the church.

Let’s look at a few carols: Good Christian Men Rejoice – He hath ope'd the heav'nly door And man is blessed forevermore Christ was born for this

Hark! The hearld angels sing – Peace on earth and mercy mild God and sinners reconciled Veiled in flesh the Godhead see Hail the incarnate Deity Pleased as man with man to dwell Jesus, our Emmanuel Born that man no more may die Born to raise the sons of earth Born to give them second birth

O Come Emmanuel - …free Thine own from Satan's tyranny From depths of Hell Thy people save And give them victory o'er the grave Disperse the gloomy clouds of night And death's dark shadows put to flight.

In the next blog, I will talk about my top number one favorite Christmas hymn for those who grieve. Till then, focus on the eternal hope which the Father sent into our messy world as a baby on that Christmas. May the Hope sustain you through each and every wave of grief you face this season.

In All Things Give Thanks

Psalm 100. A psalm for giving grateful praise.4 Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. 5 For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations. 3 Know that the LORD is God. It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.

There is always something to be thankful for. Always. Even now in your grief. I have changed the sentence order in the Psalm to emphasize how this can be. You are invited to enter His gates and to do so with a thankful heart. The way this is possible at all is in the knowing that He is God and He made you and me and we are His sheep, under His care. Even while you are grieving the death of your precious child, there is some little thing for which you can give thanks.

A kind word from your child’s nurse. The effort the doctor spent to save your child, even though he was pretty sure her life would end. A meal someone brought you that night you couldn’t imagine finding something to eat. The time you didn’t run out of gas. The way someone came to just listen. There were probably many times people came and didn’t really minister to your needs at the moment, but there were the few moments that were just right.

Be thankful for the colors in the sky at dawn. Or for a perfect tulip or a rose. Or for chocolate!

Or for your child. You got to be his mom or dad. What a gift that was! To know that child and to be allowed to instruct him, to watch her dance with delight.

Even in your grief, when you have so much pain and so many doubts, there are some little things you can give thanks for. I’m thankful you are there and that you want to figure out how to survive this. I pray for you as you seek how to make a life for yourselves in the new normal of your universe.

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 3:17 Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. I Thessalonians 5:16-18.

This little string of 3 commands Paul sent the Christians in Thessalonica follows the passage in chapter 4 about grieving, but not hopelessly (I Thessalonians 4:13-14). We have hope because Jesus died and rose again. Therefore you can, actually, give thanks to God for that and for the little blessings that come to you, even in your grief. There is always some little thing for which you can be thankful. Try to have a blessed day of giving thanks.

Temporary Blindness

I was in the high desert near Taos NM recently. I was especially looking forward to gazing into the night sky since we were staying in a special location outside the little town. I live in the eastern US so my usual environment has lots of trees, humidity, ambient light and clouds to obscure the view of the night sky. In Taos, I expected that nothing would obscure the stars from my gaze. Well, my plan was foiled because it was the week of the full moon. The brightness of the moon obscured the stars even more than the conditions in the east. Just like at home, I could only see about half a dozen stars. Not very impressive.

Grief is like that. Something obscures the view. The pain of grief can obscure the big picture that the Lord is present with you and that eternity awaits His people. The intensity of the pain is like the bright moon. The reality of the depth and complexity of eternity is like the whole universe that we see as stars in the sky.

The stars are always there even when we can’t see them. They are still obeying God’s plan and keeping their places in space. They are still representing the constellations they have occupied for ages.   The facts of eternity are always true even when we can’t see them. Heaven still obeys God’s will and occupies its place in God’s plan for His saints.

All the true things are still true, even now, though they may be hard to keep in view because of the grief you are feeling. You can trust the Lord to be Himself all day every day, no matter how difficult it is for you to see or feel it right now. He is the Lord God Almighty who is a Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief, even your grief.   

The heavens declare the glory of God;    the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech;    night after night they reveal knowledge. They have no speech, they use no words;    no sound is heard from them. Yet their voice goes out into all the earth,    their words to the ends of the world.  The law of the LORD is perfect,    refreshing the soul... The decrees of the LORD are firm,    and all of them are righteous. Psalm 19:1-4, 7, 9.

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. Hebrews 13:8.

Look for the small miracles -

So said one dad to another whose grief was fresher than the speaker's. The first dad was a strong man, wise, accomplished and not at all a mystic. The newly bereaved dad was looking for whatever insight or comfort he could get from another bereaved dad who was farther down the road through the valley of the shadow. And the advice given by the non-mystic was “look for the small miracles.” What is a miracle?  He called them “small” so, in this case, we’re not talking about parting the Red Sea or the resurrection. But little things, like a word of comfort that comes at just the right time from just the right person. Or music that moves and salves your soul. Or sharing a tear and a hug with someone else who also loved the child whose death you are grieving.

A small miracle is seeing a rainbow as you are driving on your way home after a particularly hard day. It is hearing your child’s favorite song as you are packing up some of his things. It is finding pennies, when you and your child had an inside joke about pennies from heaven. It’s so many things, different things for each parent. "Miracle" means God making His presence known as He provides a little dose of comfort for you. “Look for” means keep an open heart and mind as things happen while you are grieving.

There was another dad whose son died of cancer about 10 months from his diagnosis. He was 11 years old and a twin. When he was diagnosed, the plan was to get him into remission and then to give him a bone marrow transplant since he had this perfect donor match from his identical twin brother. He did achieve remission, but before they could get the transplant started, even when they were so ready, he relapsed. There was much sadness around the house that day.

After his death, the dad was asked to speak briefly about his experience to the television media. He said, “we were praying for a miracle. And we got one, just not the one we were praying for. I know my son is well, raised to life again, in heaven with Jesus.”  Now, healing would have been a good miracle, but resurrection is better by far – at least for the child. The rest of us get to see him again, but not till a bit later. The resurrection this dad hopes in is the best of all miracles but, for now, dad is grieving with hope.

While he walked this earth, Jesus did miracles for the purpose of proving His is God. He was demonstrating His identity so that the witnesses could believe who He is. You could say the same about the small miracles. He is still working. The result in us should be that we believe He is who He says He is. He is the One who knows you and loves you enough to go to the cross to die because that will relieve you from the penalty for your sins. And then He rose from the grave which guarantees life beyond the grave. Small miracles lead to hope because God is active and involved in your grief process and because heaven is real!

Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. I Thessalonians 4:13-14