a ministry of compassion since 1973
Hope for When It Hurts
Theology protects. And theology rehabilitates when I fail. I've shared a sampler from my life to demonstrate how theology works to help hurting people see themselves and their world more nearly from God's perspective. It has protected me from wrong feelings and attitudes, and it heals when I fail. I call it “therapeutic theology.”
Read MoreWe are had a BASIS picnic recently. That means going out to some lovely place in God’s creation to take some time with people who love us and whom we love, to be re-created by God and the place and the loving fellowship. Picnics are fun, relaxing and restoring. Picnics are good for the soul.
Jesus knew that. Remember how often he “withdrew to a lonely place?” He needed to get away from the crowds. Maybe you need to get away from the trigger of sorrow that “crowd” in on you. I’m suggesting that you do the other thing Jesus did when he got away from it all for a time. He made sure to spend time “being still and knowing … God.” He listened to God’s voice and was refreshed, strengthen for the next thing. You, too, could benefit from listening so that you can be refreshed for the next thing, like the next hour – or if you’re very early in your grief, for the next minute.
Picnics -Time away, in a lonely, lovely setting, to see God’s handiwork, to hear His voice of comfort. To be restored. I recommend it.
You “remember” your affliction and how bitter it is when your child has died. Your soul is probably “downcast.” Have you done the next thing? Jeremiah says he deliberate did the mental work to remember, “call to mind,” the Lord’s every day doses of compassion.
Read MoreGrief is immense, intense and durable. God is more immense.God’s love for you is every bit as intense, immense and durable as your grief.
Read MoreQuoting Nancy Guthrie’s Hearing Jesus Speak into Your Sorrow: “Emptiness can be good when, in our emptiness, we come to Jesus to be filled... When we do, we have the opportunity to find out for ourselves that Jesus really can fill us up – that he can be enough for us... We can be confident that his grace will be delivered to us in the form and quantity and timing in which we need it."
Read MoreI just want to comment that how your child died has some impact on how you grieve. Even when you expect death, it is surprising when it finally does come. Paul says that he’s been in difficult circumstances of many kinds. He’s learned to be content in all circumstances. That contentment comes directly from the grace of Jesus
Read MoreGrief is a journey through stages. You’ve probably seen or heard of “stages” of grief... I don’t particularly like this language to describe grief. Grief is not linear or compartmentalized as the word stage implies.
Read MoreIt got me to thinking about independence and grief. I realized that there is only a very little bit of the work you have to do as a grieving parent that you can do independently.
Read More...grief sometimes generates some LARGE energy. Sometimes grief makes a person tired, but sometimes it generated energy that had better be spent on something constructive. My friend knew it was time for a new flower bed! Urgently.
Read MoreWe are living in a fallen world. In that world, we can be described as: pressed, perplexed, persecuted, struck down. It’s possible that this describes your life right now.
Read MoreThe quilt is not large. There are pieces, in irregular shapes, of several different fabrics that have a variety of textures. The irregularity is what makes it a “crazy” quilt.
Read MoreYou dads out there - God, the heavenly Father, commiserates with you earthly fathers, especially you grieving fathers.
Read MoreShe is a woman of the Word who lived several decades ago. She was married to a preacher from Scotland, Peter Marshall, who died very young. Then she married again and became a wife, and mother or stepmother to 4 children, and was an acclaimed Christian author. Then came a time of great difficulty: Their first grandchild was born with a genetic disease which took her life in a matter of weeks. The second grandchild was born with the same condition. Catherine and others prayed diligently and fervently for healing in this child’s body. But the baby died. Then Catherine went into a depression and a “dark night of the soul.” She said: “all above me, it seems, is a heaven of brass.” It seemed as if God was not present or listening to her heart’s cries.
Here are a few other quotes from the book, Light in My Darkest Night about this period of her life. They tell a story of darkness and light, of depression and restoration.
“This terrible feeling of lostness… must reflect my separation from God. When one has lost one’s way and can no longer feel the Shepherd’s hand, when the Valley of the Shadow is dark with the light of faith withdrawn, what does one do then?” She answered her own question: “Trust God in the dark and wait and hope and hang on…”
“Though my prayers are hollow and uninspired, I am receiving instruction from His Word.“ In other words, she was reading the Bible, regularly, even if reading and praying seemed dry and lifeless activities. In doing so, she began receiving insight from the Author.
“I asked God to [do this]. When He didn’t, I proceeded to sulk like a child. A petulant child who failed to get her own way.” She had “assumed I had a right to [be given] understanding. What arrogance! What presumption!” God is God and we can’t tell Him what to do. We get to choose to yield to His God-ness, or not, and suffer the loneliness.
“When life hands us situations we cannot understand, we have one of two choices. We can wallow in misery, separated from God. Or we can tell Him, ‘I need You and Your presence in my life more than I need understanding. I choose You, Lord. I trust You to give me understanding and an answer to all my “Why’s” – only if and when You choose.’”
The restoration of Catherine’s spirit dawned as she began to let go of her demands and expectations and let God be God. She learned that she could seek the Giver, even if the desired gift was not given. Then Light began to shine in her darkness.
May you be blessed as you practice yielding to His love for you.
I have been thinking about what a difference a moment makes. I have been meditating on some Scriptures. Here are some passages that tell the story of redemption, death and hope.
Read MoreRemembering is also a biblical function. Jesus tells us to remember... Jehovah told the Hebrews to remember... How do you remember your child now? Here are some ideas other families have implemented...
Read MorePuzzles are hard, and take concentration... Real progress is made, bit by bit, until the project is completed. There are similarities in grief. Do you fully understand all the elements and issues of your loss? Or is it like a puzzle?
When we see Him and are finally at home with Him, the puzzle pieces will all fit together in a beautiful picture of His presence with us and His grace for us.
Read MoreGod, your God and Comforter, knows what it’s like to have your job, to have that kind of relationship with a beloved little one: …we were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children. I Thessalonians 2:7.
Read MoreTake a retreat weekend; take a vacation to a beach somewhere. But probably you will take your grief with you. It’s in you more than it is around you.
Read More...“everything will be redeemed.” All the brokenness of this world will be redeemed. That’s what’s coming in eternity. Even the thorns of Paul, Jesus and each of you.
Read MoreAs He was walking and carrying, He grew too tired and weak to continue so they recruited help for Him. They told one member of the watching crowd, an African named Simon, to pitch in and carry the cross for Jesus. He did. And so they all made it successfully to the hill top where the execution would take place.
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