A Christmas Conundrum

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This time of year produces a conundrum. JOY and SADNESS easily intermingle, especially when someone you love is no longer a part of your life because death has intervened – whether a while ago or recently. That loved one’s absence is even more keenly felt at Christmas than, perhaps, at other times of the year.

Christmas is many wonderful things. Family time is most certainly one of them. So many special activities that family members share together – shopping, making cookies, selecting and decorating the Christmas tree, singing Christmas carols... Before your loss, those things brought such great joy. Now, they are mingled with sadness.

My sister-in-law died six months ago. Her daughter chatted with my wife about the extreme pain she is feeling, six months later. She said, “I’m a mess and I don’t know why!” My wife explained that it could be because she’s facing the “Perfect Storm:” her mother’s extreme love of Christmas with all the family traditions they shared AND the fact that, generally speaking, six to nine months following the loss of a loved one produces the most intense time of grief. It’s a powerful combination that can create sadness you may have thought you’d already “conquered!”

Christmas is most certainly a time to be joyful. Jesus was born! We know well the everlasting HOPE His coming represents. But, how can you have ANY joy when your heart is broken? The answer is - through Scripture, my friend. Joy, comfort, hope, encouragement, the healing of your heart - everything you need is found in God’s Holy Word.

Psalm 51:12 reminds us, about the “joy of our salvation.” Nothing can rob the child of God of THAT joy. Not even the loss of the dearest on earth to you. The context of that plea for joy, in Psalm 51:12, is that David’s spirit was troubled because of his sin. Joy is definitely illusive when our hearts are separated from God because of unconfessed sin. But, joy is illusive in heartache, as well. Think of Joseph in Matthew 1:19-25. Joseph was in deep despair. The one he was about to marry was pregnant – but not with HIS child. Oh, the heartache and pain of such a situation! Yet, when the angel spoke these words to him, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife; for the Child who has been conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a Son; and you shall name Him Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins.” Joseph, naturally, was puzzled, maybe still sorrowful, but, he chose to believe the words of God spoken through the angel. He chose to trust God for HIS plan.

In your heartache, God’s words can speak comfort and encouragement.

  • I Peter 5:7 “…casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.”

  • Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

  • Psalm 56:8 "Record my misery; list my tears on your scroll—are they not in your record?"

  • Psalm 34:18 "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

  • Psalm 145:14 “The Lord upholds all who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down."

  • Revelation 21:4 “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."

  • Psalm 30:5 “Weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.”

As you wash your broken heart with God’s Word, you will still have questions, disappointment, maybe some confusion concerning your loss; but, even with all that, your sadness and sorrow can be turned to joy. After all, the One Who created you; Who knew, before you did, what would break your heart; Who is with you IN the heartache; and Who has plans for your good was born in a manger so you might have the joy of your salvation – and you might have joy every day of your life here on this earth, even if it’s mingled with sorrow.