The Elephant In The Room

In a previous blog I pointed out that well meaning people avoid talking about your loss because they think it will just cause you pain.  Of course, as bereaved parents we know that is not true.  The following poem by Terry Kettering expresses this so well. The Elephant in the Room

There’s an elephant in the room.

It is large and squatting, so it is hard to get around it.

Yet we squeeze by with, “How are you?”

And, “I’m fine”…

And a thousand other forms of trivial chatter.

We talk about the weather.

We talk about work.

We talk about everything else—

Except the elephant in the room

There’s an elephant in the room.

We all know it is there.

We are thinking about the elephant

As we talk together.

It is constantly on our minds.

For, you see, it is a very big elephant.

It has hurt us all.

But we do not talk about the elephant in the room.

Oh, please, say her name.

Oh, please, say “Barbara” again.

Oh, please, let’s talk about the elephant in the room.

For if we talk about her death,

Perhaps we can talk about her life?

Can I say “Barbara” to you and not have you look away?

For if I cannot, then you are leaving me alone…

In a room…

With an elephant.*

May God give you someone who will talk with you about "the elephant in the room"

* from Bereavenment Magazine, October, 1989